


Renowned Scholar, World’s Greatest Detective, and Best Friend

by hops



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Basically it's just sad, But Taako tries to keep it cool, Funeral, eulogy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-11 00:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12310752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hops/pseuds/hops
Summary: Taako gives Angus's Eulogy.





	Renowned Scholar, World’s Greatest Detective, and Best Friend

**Author's Note:**

> S/O to [this comic by janmenart](http://janmenart.tumblr.com/post/166139962427/so-hey-elves-live-a-loooooooooong-time-huh) that kind of spurred this. I'm very sad.

Taako walked up to the altar of the temple and ascended the marble stairs with his speech clutched in both hands. As he reached the podium and set the papers down, he looked out over the crowd. Some people were already crying.

He’d known for some time that he’d be the one to deliver the eulogy for Angus McDonald. He’d thought for hours, days, about what he should say and how he should say it. It seemed a near-impossible task to even write down everything Angus had accomplished in his long 80 years since Taako had first met him on the Rockport Ltd., never mind everything that made Angus _Angus._ But he’d tried his best. It just felt so _formal_ and so stiff to list off a bunch of accomplishments and hope that everyone would remember them and remember him just as fondly. But he had to try.

He clutched both hands to the podium and cleared his throat. “Hi, I’m Taako, if you didn’t already know…” A short laugh murmured through the crowd. “I’m kind of Angus’s dad, or whatever. I dunno. He had a lot of parents. He kind of collected parents? Like, you met him and you couldn’t help but want to be his parent a little bit. Anyway, I have this, so... “ He waved the eulogy in his hand and set it down to read it.

“Angus McDonald was a renowned scholar, a beloved friend, a son, a husband, a father, the world’s greatest detective… the list goes on. He meant so much to so many. He did so much for the world, from the day that I met him-- there were mysteries that I never even knew needing solving that he…” Taako stopped, staring down at the page, then surveying the dozens upon dozens of quiet rows in the crowd. He took a deep breath in and let it out, wondering what he should do. This wasn’t right.

“I-- I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” Taako said into the still silence of the Temple. “I can’t just read this bullshit list of things he did and flower it up with nice words. He’s so much more than that. I’m just gonna wing this one, say how I feel, ‘cause I think that’s what he would want. He didn’t live a conventional life. Why are we trying to shoehorn him into one at the last second?” He looked at Lup, who looked a little nervous about the sudden turn of subject, but she gave him a quick thumbs up anyway. “And I don’t… I don’t want to make it sound like I’m speaking for all of us. We all had our own thing with Ango, and we loved him. But this is what I need to really say about him, and about our family.”

He sniffed. “We all… we all used to kinda butt heads about that, y’know? Who was mom, who was dad, but we all were, in our way. It made things difficult at times, but raising Angus, it was never hard. He was the best kid I ever met. The only kid I ever really liked, anyway.” He looked out at the front rows, lined with familiar faces of family and friends. He locked eyes again with Lup who offered a small smile of confidence. “I think we can all say that he wormed his way into all of our hearts, no matter how hard we fought it.

“I know there’s more to Ango than who he was as a child. But that’s how I will always remember him. The kid half my size with those awful glasses and a missing front tooth. We were so mean to him back then, and he always put up with us, and--” Taako caught sight of Merle, who was wiping an eye with a handkerchief. “I mean, I stole his grandfather’s silverware,” he laughed. “And I hope somehow I repaid that debt eventually. We all made it up to him in some way.

“And I’d be remiss not to mention the people who aren’t here, who Angus was so fond of.” Taako paused for a long moment, looking down at the podium. “Lucretia, who had taken him in, seeing how fuckin’ good he was at… everything, really. World’s Greatest Detective, at ten years old. I’m so thankful she saw in him what the rest of us had dismissed as a kid being a kid.

“And, Magnus…” Taako paused to hold back a sob at the mention of his departed friend. Remembering him made this even harder. “He loved that kid more than anything. More than his dogs or his stupid fish or carving all those fucking ducks. It was like watching that idiot bachelor you’ve known forever turn into a middle-aged dad overnight. And Angus loved him too-- the soccer practices as a teen, the adventures when he got older... He lived with Magnus every other summer… when he wasn’t with me, of course,” he laughed through his tears. “Until he finished with his second doctorate. Which I mean, was at 22, so it’s not exactly like he was there forever. But it was so good to have extra time.

“I mean, I think we all know this already, but Angus was a genius. Like, he was kicking my ass in every way from the get-go, even after the Story and Song and I had an extra hundred years of learning interplanar shit that nobody in this world even knew. Whenever I’d tell him stories about the things we’d seen, he’d ask a million more questions, he’d understand so much without even having been there. And that just-- it multiplied as he got older. He just kept learning. I don’t know how he fit it all in the dome.” The audience laughed a little with him as he wiped a tear with a smile. “And I could stand here all day and name all the advancements he made, all the things he found, all the crimes he solved in his spare time, just for fun. Kid had four doctorates. World-renowned scholar. World’s greatest detective. Best friend in the world. And he was our whole world, too. Gods, listen to me, going all soft now. He’d be so damn smug.

“He lived a good life. A long life, as humans go. And that’s what everyone kinda warns you about loving humans so much, that it’s almost marked from the start that you’ll lose them. It’s so hard to watch someone age so much faster than you and know this day would come. But with Ango, it was never like that, I never thought about it that way. It’s hard to even focus on that when someone loves you so unconditionally, and so much, and you can’t help but love them back the same way. I just hope that now he’s out there somewhere, well taken care of.” He looked at Kravitz. They shared a tearful smile. “And I hope he’ll get to see Magnus and tell him all the amazing things he did.” Taako could barely get the end of the sentence out as he stepped back from the microphone for a moment to allow himself a few sobs. The temple was silent save for the sounds of sniffles and other people crying with him. “Because he did. He was amazing. He’ll always be amazing, and the world’s gonna remember him even after we’re all dead and gone and dust. That’s just who he is.”

He exhaled, holding onto the podium with both hands. “So, yeah, I, uh… I think that’s all ol’ Taako’s got…” He sounded a little winded, as if he were trying to speak under his breath to talk to just himself. “We’ll see him again, I just-- I wish we had more time. But that’s just how it always goes, when you look back. You see the good and you wish you had so much more.” The entire first row was crying, some holding hands just to anchor each other. Davenport handed Barry a tissue. “But today’s the day to remember him, folks. Take the jump and talk about him, even if it makes you cry. I mean, I’m just trying to maintain the ol’ brand here and I’m a total wreck. I’m crying and ruining my makeup. You all have my blessing to go and do the same.

“So… thank you all. Really, thank you for being a part of Angus’s life. Everyone who loved him, he loved them back tenfold. Even at the times we didn’t deserve it. So remember that, today. Remember him and how much he did, how much he gave us. How much he left for us. Because he did, he did so much, and it was easy to take it for granted. Sometimes we forget how good he was. He was brilliant in every fuckin’ way. And I’ll never, ever forget that.”

He took a long pause to collect himself and neaten the stack of papers on the podium, afraid of what would come after his goodbye. He started to cry again.

“Thank you,” he said, hiding the crack in his voice. He retreated down the steps of the altar, pausing for a moment at the casket at the bottom. His manicured hand brushed the intricately carved wood there. One of Magnus’s apprentices had carved the whole lid by hand.

He returned to his seat at the front and nestled in close between Kravitz and Lup, who each wrapped an arm around him and pulled him in tight. Barry passed a tissue to him with a swift mage hand. And then, the crowd began to clap, a few at first, then a whole round of applause. He turned to Lup and cried into her chest.

“That was beautiful, love. Exactly what he deserved,” she spoke into his ear over the applause and smoothed his hair. Her thumb carefully wiped a tear from his cheek.

“Yeah, well. Had to make up for calling him the wrong name half the time, I guess.”

They laughed together through tears. She held his hand and he clutched it tight.


End file.
